urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya ( you left me tattered & torn ) Fuuchouin Kazuki 2007-04-30T20:05:08Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:6290 2007-04-30T20:05:08Z 2007-04-30T20:05:08Z .. Amazing, really, what things one can discover when one disappears for some time. My apologies to anyone who may have been concerned, or wondered where I was. <s>DS..</s> I had let myself become lax as an annaiya---no longer, thank you.<br /><br /><br /><br /><font size="1">[ooc; D: SORRY GUYZ. My Kazuki muse has been uncooperative lately.]</font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:6136 2007-03-28T13:11:29Z 2007-03-28T13:11:29Z It's a shame about Constantine-san. I rather liked him and his smart mouth. With any luck, however, he'll be back and cranky by tomorrow. <s>So I hope.</s><br /><br /><br /><br />Ginji-san is here. <i>Without</i> Midou-kun. I am.. extremely thrilled. It's <i>so good</i> to be near him again. I have missed him.<br /><br />.. Speaking of..<br /><br /><br />Ginji-san, would you like to stay with DS and I until you've settled into your own place? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:5769 2007-03-20T16:10:20Z 2007-03-20T16:10:20Z I'm better. I'm able to get out, at least, despite what DS thinks. Thankfully, I haven't caught this virus that's been going around. I don't think my immune system could handle it at the moment, even given how quickly I tend to heal.<br /><br />I have a lot of catching-up to do. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:5448 2007-03-16T18:56:06Z 2007-03-16T18:56:06Z <s>oh.. god..</s><br /><br /><br /><b>IF <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~kendogrl">YOU</a> EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL RIP YOU INTO SO MANY PIECES THEY'LL <i>NEVER</i> FIND ALL OF YOU</b> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:5154 2007-03-12T16:10:06Z 2007-03-12T16:10:06Z <s>I'm so glad that DS-san is back to his usual, flirtatious self. So, so glad..</s><br /><br />DS-san, really! .. You can be so vulgar.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:5114 2007-03-09T14:15:10Z 2007-03-09T14:15:10Z <s>Oh God. Oh God, you idiot. You fool. You <i>stupid</i>, <i>stupid</i> man! You'd better revive, because when you do I'm going to bind you to the ceiling and sew your eyes and mouth and ears shut so you can't do anything like that again!<br /><br />.. This always happens.. The people I get close to get <i>hurt</i> or leave or.. or die.<br /><br />I should have stopped him. I should have <i>known</i> he wouldn't be content to sit still. I.. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry</s><br /><br /><br />i think that i'm going to scream now urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:4642 2007-03-08T20:23:48Z 2007-03-08T20:23:48Z <s>Stupid curse.</s><br /><br />Has anyone.. seen DS-san? I know that he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but.. I haven't seen him in several days, and I'm beginning to grow concerned. <s>He's always here at night.</s> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:4482 2007-03-07T22:52:00Z 2007-03-07T22:52:00Z <font size="1">I.. this person does not understand.. One moment, one was serving tea to a gentleman, and now.. One is still wearing one's charms, however, so it.. cannot possibly be evil spirits..<br /><br />Would anyone be willing to help this humble geisha?<br /><br /><br />[ooc; .. Because I'm lazy and had this icon handy. Sothere. :P]</font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:4172 2007-03-06T17:43:06Z 2007-03-06T17:43:06Z <a name="cutid1"></a><font size="1">[ooc; .. though not unhackable, because he doesn't really care all THAT much if someone sees. Not really a big deal and all that.]</font><br /><br />It's times like this that makes me glad that I'm not <i>really</i> a woman. Though.. I don't know. If I had a different, a safer, job.. I think I'd like to have a baby one day. Maybe I'd adopt. I mean.. technically it's my duty to revive the Fuuchouin clan, but I can't see myself with a woman in any way, shape, or form, so adoption it would have to be.<br /><br />Sometimes I think it would be easier for me to be a girl, though. It wouldn't be strange for me to feel the way I do about things. I hate gender; it's such a stupid concept.<br /><br /><br />It's been nice having someone near. The ticking has stopped, and DS-san doesn't expect things of me that I can't give. <s>I'm not afraid that he's going to hurt me, or r--- ..I can't even <i>type</i> it.</s><br /><br /><br />.. I understand that Greed has lost his heart. I hope that.. things are fixed. I rather miss the flirting.<br /><br /><s>And Natsu is angry with me. I don't know <i>why</i>. I don't know what I've done to upset him..</s> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:3933 2007-03-04T05:12:53Z 2007-03-04T05:12:53Z It seems as if it's been so long since I've dressed so formally.. It's all so familiar, though. I still remember the ritual, and how <i>difficult</i> it is to tie an obi on your own. Even with practice, it can be a pain. My bells have mates tonight; I suppose I shall chime.<br /><br /><br />The lights are so lovely.. I've missed this sort of thing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:3673 2007-02-26T15:05:33Z 2007-02-26T15:05:33Z I wonder sometimes if it wasn't my earliest experiences in Mugenjou that made me what I am. There are four men that I trust completely, and there are no women. And it's not that I don't have female acquaintances (even friends), I just don't have much experience with them. <br /><br />If that person hadn't hurt me so badly, would I have worked so hard to master the strings? Would Juubei still be standing between me and the rest of the world? .. Though if I hadn't been hurt, Juubei would not have suffered such agony, knowing that he couldn't protect me.<br /><br />He was <i>ten</i>; we were children. I wish he'd understand that. I don't blame him. How could I <i>ever</i> blame him?<br /><br /><br />It isn't <i>fair</i> what that place does to people. Ginji-san.. <br /><br />I miss the Volts. I miss curling at Ginji-san's back at night for warmth.<br /><br /><br />It--<br /><br /><br />Nng. This has to be a curse. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:3459 2007-02-26T05:38:14Z 2007-02-26T05:38:14Z Crowley-san does excellent work. I could learn things from him.<br /><br />Mm. Annoyed at the world in general at the moment, and the migraine has dulled down to a throbbing ache between my temples. I am not feeling particularly nice<s>, and the stigma is hurting</s>. <s>That may perhaps be why I am in such a foul mood.</s><br /><br /><br /><br />My toes are cold. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:3106 2007-02-25T05:53:28Z 2007-02-25T05:53:28Z <font size="1">.. I have such a migraine. I think it's the ticking..<br /><br />Stupid.. <i>clock</i>.</font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:3049 2007-02-24T08:47:34Z 2007-02-24T08:47:34Z Thank heavens for midnight. I don't feel nearly so vulnerable, now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:2600 2007-02-23T18:38:01Z 2007-02-23T18:38:01Z <a name="cutid1"></a>In my clan, a woman's grace and manners was prized. All children were taught these things, until they turned fifteen. When they reached this age, traditional gender roles came more into play.<br /><br />Nothing, however, can make you forget how to move. Elegance is important--if you're clumsy, you can kill yourself with the strings. If you touch them with a man's fingers, you can't manipulate them properly.<br /><br />I was still very young when my clan was destroyed, so I was never taught how to act as a male should. Even then, I looked like a girl. I've always looked like a girl---I wear girl's clothing, because it's more comfortable and fits better. I wear my hair long, like a girl's. My face and hands and hips and shoulders are girlish.<br /><br />It's a fetish, for some men. They like giving me trinkets, calling me 'baby', dressing me up and then ripping it all off. They like the shock, the contrast, expecting breasts and actually touching a flat chest.<br /><br />And I'm so used to it, now.. I'm so used to people treating me like a girl that I.. barely bother to correct people anymore. I don't even care.<br /><br /><s>I don't remember my first time. Only that I was young, it hurt, it made me angry, and it made me want to be stronger. So I'm really grateful, I think, despite how Juubei acted for years afterwards.</s><br /><br /><br />There. Maybe it's out of my system, now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:2449 2007-02-22T13:56:26Z 2007-02-22T13:56:26Z <s>Um. I can't believe how completely charmed I am by watching Aziraphale-san and Crowley-san interacting on the network. And I don't care what Crowley-san says---he really is sweet to Aziraphale-san.</s><br /><br />Mm. Well, at least the weather's cleared up. <s>Last night was.. difficult. Nightmares about Mugenjou and my family---and I couldn't exactly call Juubei for comfort.</s> I'm glad everyone seemed to enjoy themselves; the food fight seemed a riot. Surely, I would have been a good sport and participated, but if you had hair as long as mine, you'd understand why I didn't.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a>Date. A date. With Natsu.<br /><br />I didn't realise it until I'd told him, but I--really hadn't been on one before. <i>This body</i> has done such things, but always.. some false person I'm playing. Some facade for my work. <i>This body</i> has been told that it is beautiful, but never--just me. Never Fuuchouin Kazuki. And in Mugenjou.. it was always about survival and reassuring ourselves that we were still alive. The few times I was taken---there were never gentle hands or sweet words.<br /><br />Is it silly of me to want a little romance? .. I'm such a girl.<br /><br /><br />..Oh! I almost forgot to mention.. <br /><br />L-san, I hope you've been sleeping. --I see that your friends are here; you'll have to introduce us sometime. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:2239 2007-02-21T18:40:04Z 2007-02-21T18:40:04Z The heavenly creatures are becoming as populous as the Shinigami/Arrancar. <s>Annoying.</s> I'm sure if I hadn't already been against religion, I would be now. After all, there's nothing that kills faith quite like mad angels.<br /><br /><br />The weather today is certainly.. disgusting. I was going to get out and try to do some shopping, but I'm not certain I want to, now. Perhaps curling up with a book would be the best thing. <s>I wish Juubei was here. I miss him so terribly.. How silly of me..</s> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:1902 2007-02-19T15:38:29Z 2007-02-19T15:38:29Z Well, yesterday was.. eventful. I believe I was mildly affected, but thankfully, I am more self-aware than that. I know what my normal behaviour looks like, and what <i>ab</i>normal behaviour would be for me. And considering my desires yesterday<s>--the Prince of Terror, they called me.. how bloodthirsty I was yesterday</s>.. well. It would have been quite out of character for me. <s>At least for my normal self.</s> I fear that I might be somewhat affected today, as well; I'm rather angry with Ginji-san for some inexplicable reason. I wish he was here so that I could give him a piece of my mind. I don't think I ever did, really, after he left the Volts. If I hadn't been so devastated, I'm certain I could have pulled them back together. After all, I used to lead Fuuga..<br /><br />Mm. What a pain, this feeling. <br /><br /><br />Ah well, at least people aren't falling all over themselves today trying to kill one another. Though it may escalate to that with the amount of testosterone floating about in the air. Truly this curse was made for <i>machisimo</i>. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:1727 2007-02-16T19:47:40Z 2007-02-16T19:47:40Z I despise being manhandled. And <i>no one</i> touches the bells in my hair but me. Though I suppose I may have gone a bit overboard.. after all, he couldn't help himself. At least that'll keep him out of trouble for a few days. <br /><br />Mou.. now my waist and one of my wrists have bruises, too. Juubei would be furious, I'm certain. It's probably a good thing he isn't here.<br /><br />Though.. he and Toshiki <i>could</i> arrive, couldn't they? So could Ginji-san.. <s><i>without</i> Midou-kun.</s> I'll have to hope for the best.<br /><br /><br /><br />I really may have to acquire a roommate, as much as the idea displeases me. The ticking is terribly annoying. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:1497 2007-02-15T17:01:24Z 2007-02-15T17:01:53Z <s>My hips are bruised. L-kun has a strong grip.</s><br /><br />.. Well, now that I've gotten <i>that</i> out of my system.<br /><br />My, <i>my</i>. Gossip gossip gossip, it seems to be a favourite pastime here. <s>Good. It makes my job that much easier.</s> I'll admit that I don't particularly relish the thought of Wrath coming around, but considering the damage that's likely to occur <i>anyway</i>, I'm not terribly concerned. <s>I survived the Beltline--this should be nothing.</s> Still, I suppose that's why I have my strings. If anyone attempts to harm me, I can always secure them to the building until their rage passes. <s>Unless I'm hit. In which case.. the Prince of Terror again? I hope not.</s> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:1234 2007-02-14T19:13:36Z 2007-02-14T19:13:36Z <i>Honestly</i>. This is just ridiculous. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:879 2007-02-14T05:54:45Z 2007-02-14T05:54:45Z Oh. S-so this is a curse, is it?<br /><br /><s>IDON'TLIKETHISATALL!</s><br /><br />I feel hot all over. This isn't.. very professional behaviour. <s>How embarrassing..</s> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:an_annaiya:744 2007-02-13T16:07:44Z 2007-02-13T16:07:44Z So this place is called 'The City'. And I'm stuck here until further notice. People are from other 'worlds', which I can't quite wrap my head around. I'm a bit shocked, I think. It's funny; my hands haven't shaken this badly since I was a child. <s>It's a good thing I haven't needed to use my strings here yet.</s><br /><br /><s>Juubei must be terribly worried. I was supposed to visit him in Mugenjou after my job last night. I hope he takes care of himself while I'm gone.</s><br /><br />I suppose I should find somewhere to stay.. and set up practice. <i>Every</i> city needs an annaiya.